TONY BRIGGS
Why this big throw-out, hey?

FREDA ASHTON
Well, I'm chucking out the past. Oh, you wait 'til I get my SRN. You won't see me for dust.

TONY
(laughing as he turns to leave)
Oh, well, I can see I've come at the wrong time.

FREDA
Oh, no, it's nice to see you, sailor.

TONY
Then you won't come out with me.

FREDA
Well, as it's Sunday, we could go to church, but, uh...sorry, no. I'm going around to Sheila's.
(to Doris)
Doris will, won't you, chick?

DORIS JACKSON
(in shock)
Well, um. I'm coming with you, aren't I?

FREDA
Well, it's tonight...not now. I mean, you don't have to come to Sheila's anyway. Wouldn't you rather go out with a lonely sailor?

DORIS
(stammering)
Well, I thought, uh...

FREDA
(to Tony)
Well, go on. Ask her.

TONY
(to Doris, haltingly)
Um...well... Oh. Well, yes. What about the pictures or something?

FREDA
Oh, you've not got a very original line, have you?

DORIS
Well, then...I couldn't anyrow cause, um... I haven't got anything to wear.
(rushing from the kitchen, mortified)
I'll... I'll finish straightening up in the front room.

TONY
Uh, yeah...
(to Freda)
You embarrassed the poor girl!

FREDA
You embarrassed the poor girl! She's scared of you because you're an officer.
(with affected gentility)
"Praps the pictures or something."

TONY
Well...

FREDA
Is that the best you can do? She'd have talked about it for months.
(angrily)
You didn't want to, did you? You're just a little bit of a snob, in your own way.

TONY
No, I'm not. Look, that's not a very nice thing to say, you know.

FREDA
(sarcastically)
Oh, I'm sorry.

TONY
(conceding the point)
Yes. Well, uh... Yeah, there could be a grain of truth in it, I suppose. Blame my upbringing.

(He chuckles at himself.)

FREDA
Oh, well, Mum didn't like her, either. She never said anything, but... She's my best friend, Doris, you know. She's got dozens of boyfriends.

TONY
Dozens?

FREDA
Dozens! Sometimes it's a swaddy as ugly as sin, or a matlow with a perpetually runny nose, or an urk with hair as black as oilskin.* Ooh, they’re all awful...at least I think so. But she thinks it's marvelous while it lasts...which isn't all that long.

*[RAF slang expressions, mentioned in T. E. Lawrence: The Mint, Part I, Chapter 22]

TONY
(who has been laughing)
And when are you going to fall in love?

FREDA
Fall in love?
(suddenly serious)
Well, what is love? I mean, Margaret leaving John...leaving Michael. David leaving Sheila. And Mum leaving Dad.
(forcing a smile)
You're a romantic, Tony Briggs.

TONY
Ah... It can be fun, you know.

FREDA
(very matter-of-fact)
Oh, you mean sex?

TONY
(embarrassed)
Well, uh...

FREDA
Oh, come on. An old tar like you, blushing? It is a word people use nowadays, you know.

TONY
Yes.

FREDA
Honestly, if only I'd just been a girl instead of your cousin...

(She walks over to the hanging laundry.)

FREDA
Anyway, I think it's overrated.

TONY
(amused)
And you know all about it, of course.

FREDA
No. As a matter of fact, I don't. But I'll bet you do. I'll bet you've had dozens of girls.

TONY
I haven't...as a matter of fact!

FREDA
Oh? Just Jenny?

TONY
(laughing)
Yes...more or less.
(serious)
Even that's wearing a bit thin.

FREDA
Oh. You or her?

TONY
Me, I suppose. I was the one that wanted marriage. How about that for a laugh?

FREDA
She's, uh, very beautiful, isn't she?

TONY
Yes, she's very beautiful. Yes, you walk into a pub with her, and men positively drool. Perhaps I don't want a wife that men positively drool at. It can be very irritating.

FREDA
Yeah.
(cheerily)
Ah, well, at least no one is going to have that problem with me.

 

(from "The Lucky Ones" by John Finch)