SEFTON BRIGGS
(cheerfully)
Running out of funds, hey?

DAVID ASHTON
Yes.

SEFTON
Budget not balancing, hey?

DAVID
Well, I don't think anyone could say we're overpaid.

SEFTON
I'm sure they wouldn't.
(laughing)
I'm sure they wouldn’t.

DAVID
I... I just need a loan to tide me over, you know.

SEFTON
Yes, well, I'm sure it can be arranged, David. Yes, I'm sure something can.

DAVID
I expect to pay you interest on it, of course.

SEFTON
What have you spent all this money on, then, David...friends with expensive tastes, hey?
(laughing)
Oh, I know how it is with a young chap like you. It runs away...doesn't it?...money. You wonder where it's all gone.

DAVID
Yes, it does seem to vanish fast these days.

SEFTON
It always did, lad. It always did.
(laughing)
Have you, uh, tried the bank, then?

DAVID
(puzzled)
Well, no, I haven't, uh... I'm not too well up on that sort of thing, you know.

SEFTON
Yes. Well, it can cause embarrassment, can money...usually from being without it.

(Sefton offers David a cigarette and then lights it for him with his lighter.)

SEFTON
You could have offered them a certain amount of security, now, of course.

DAVID
Security?

SEFTON
Yes, the shares your mother left you.

DAVID
Oh, yes, I... I... I wondered about that, you know, as a matter of fact.

SEFTON
Yes, you could even have sold them...if you could have found a buyer, and provided you could get the other beneficiaries' approval. Have you taken professional advice about this at all, David?

DAVID
Well, no, I haven't.

SEFTON
Yeah. Not a lot of use to a chap like you...are they?...shares. Not the sort of thing you can pass across the counter.

DAVID
I was going to ask your advice about that, actually. I... I didn't know whether I should...you know, keep them or not. I mean, they could go up, couldn't they?

SEFTON
Oh, they could indeed. Shares do go up, of course.
(sighing)
Aye, they go up, and then again, they go down.

DAVID
Down?

SEFTON
I bought some shares before the war...fifteen shillings. Do you know what they're worth today? Eleven pence. Oh, I'm not saying the same sort of thing can happen to yours, but I don't mind telling you I'm worried about the business. It's all these damn controls, you know. I'm not saying your shares are going to go down. It's in the lap of the gods and this damn government. But I can fairly well promise you they won't go up.

DAVID
It's no good asking you if you'd like to buy them, then, is it?

SEFTON
Not the way to make your fortune, is it?

(Sefton is pouring them each a glass of scotch.)

DAVID
No. No, of course not.

SEFTON
You know...come to think of it, I'm not altogether happy about this loan business.
(sighing)
You're absolutely sure you can't manage, I suppose...

DAVID
Well, no, that's why I came to you.

SEFTON
(showing worry)
Mmm. Your father isn't going to like it if I make you my debtor, is he?

DAVID
(coming clean)
Look, Uncle, I signed a cheque for a bloke the other day. If I don't get some money in the bank quick, it's going to bounce.

SEFTON
Oh, I see...not a very happy state of affairs, is it?

DAVID
No. You can say that again.

SEFTON
Oh, if I buy these shares, I'll be taking a gamble. It's one legitimate way I could help you, of course. In fact, I'm the only one in a position to buy them. You can't sell them to just anybody, you know. That's the law in this case.

DAVID
Well, I... I don't even know what they're worth.

SEFTON
If we go through with this, you could do it through my solicitor.
(deep in thought)
Look, I'll give you a cheque now for at least half the value. You go around to George Askew now and sign the transfer...and we can finish all the rest later. How does that suit you?

DAVID
(smiling)
Well...then, you mean you will buy them?

SEFTON
Well, short of running you into debt, it seems I've no option.
(chuckling)
You've twisted my arm, young man.

 

(from "You Can Choose Your Friends" by John Foster)